In the spirit of seasonal resolution making, here are some words of advice for the coming year (and beyond)…
Never choose money, popularity, or a dude over your girl tribe. Ever.
Don’t want fair-weather friends? Don’t be one. Sisterhood is a pretty powerful thing, but it’s a two-way street built on love and loyalty. You can never truly know what this world is going to hit you with, so trust me when I tell you that you’re gonna want those women in your corner. True friendship is hard to come by & the only way to have it is to be it.
“Netflix & chill” is bullshit.
It’s perfectly okay to be uncommitted if that’s what both of you want, but you’re a living, breathing human being not a goddamn Fleshlight. You mean something. Don’t censor yourself or sacrifice your emotions on the altar of keeping it casual, you aren’t doing either of you any favors. It’s a total waste of time when the alternative is someone who treats you like a goddess and makes your vagina sing the Ride of the fucking Valkyries. Real women are passionate and complicated and real men dig that. If dude wants a sex doll he can hit up Ebay for it, not you.
Shallow, catty relationships/friendships are pointless.
Surround yourself with people who build you up and inspire you to grow & learn, and who genuinely love you for everything you are. Stop worrying so much about looking “cool” or acting a certain way all the time and just be yourself. No one has the right to ask you to be or make you feel “less than”. If someone’s friendship or affection is contingent on you diminishing any part of you so they can shine, say sayonara & move on.
There’s a whole universe inside you it’s constantly evolving. Share it. Have real conversations with people. Talk about religion and politics and racism and feminism and how to save the oceans. Talk about galaxies and archaeology and what kind of dinosaur you’re gonna ride into space when you grow up. Ask other people questions about who THEY are, where they’ve been, what their favorite books and biggest fears are and what they think about when they can’t fall asleep at night. Be curious and insatiable. Find every wall you’ve ever put up and blast them open.
Stand up for yourself.
Don’t be afraid to call bullshit when you aren’t being treated with 100% of the respect you deserve & NEVER be afraid to ask a friend for help if you are hurt or in trouble. You aren’t being “needy” or “seeking attention” and you certainly aren’t weak. Those are just excuses that selfish, insecure people use when they don’t want to admit they’re being an asshole.
Stand up for other people too.
Be a voice for the voiceless, especially children, animals, and other women. We live in a world that’s more connected than ever before, so silence and apathy are useless. If you have something important to say, shout that shit from the motherfucking rooftops. We’re all in this together, after all.
Don’t let stereotypes define you. No woman is just ONE thing.
You are pretty AND smart. You are feminine AND strong. You can like parties AND books. You can run a marathon, climb K2, AND have perfect eyebrows. You can be anything you want to be and if you go to bed like a lion and wake up like a lamb, or vice versa, then THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS.
No one is entitled to an opinion about your lifestyle or your body and you can do anything you want to with it.
Stop giving trolls, haters, and shamers the time of day. Have kids or don’t. Get married or don’t. Sleep with men or women or both. Wear makeup or don’t. Be into Cross-fit or be into sitting around in your pajamas drinking wine and eating cheese & taking selfies with your dog.
It’s your life, every second of every day, and you should be in love with it.